tongue tied

Perfectionism is a tricky little thing. In Germany last summer I struggled to speak even the simplest of words. Entschuldigung. The first german word I ever learned a lifetime ago and as I stood in the airport I was frozen. I just couldn’t bring myself to say it.

For me, the only thing more difficult than learning a language is bringing myself to speak it. I’m not entirely sure what stops me. Maybe it’s the knowledge that I can never be perfect or the that I struggle with something so many people can do effortlessly. But either way, I’m still frozen while my mouth and my brain battle it out for control. And I know in a few months I’m going to just have to do it because that just how it goes. There’s a tricky little thing called irony. I don’t want to speak because I’m not very good but the only way to become good is by speaking.

There’s a tricky little thing called irony. I don’t want to speak because I’m not very good but the only way to become good is by speaking. I try to prepare and practice and speak as much as I can now so that when I arrive my German is the best it can possibly be. But the thing is that I know I can always be better. I will never be one hundred percent perfect at German just like I am not perfect when I speak English. For me, it’s a struggle of knowing I can be better but accepting that maybe I don’t need to be.

Accepting that mistakes are okay and that every word is a success.

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